


I Had Fought So Hard (and Thought That All My Battles Had Been Won)

by doctornineandthreequarters



Series: Eddie Diaz Week [6]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Having Faith, M/M, No beta we die like that guy who got sawed in half while riding a motorcycle, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29881617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters
Summary: “What’s wrong mijo? You can talk to me.”“I’m scared.”---Eddie Diaz Week, Day 6:  “I don’t think I’m strong enough.” + faith
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Eddie Diaz Week [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188710
Comments: 18
Kudos: 139





	I Had Fought So Hard (and Thought That All My Battles Had Been Won)

Eddie pursed his lips for what felt like the millionth time, fighting back tears. He had been a mess all day. How could he not be when he was staring at his son in a hospital bed?

It had all started earlier that morning. Eddie had been finishing getting ready for work when he heard a scream from Christopher’s room. And he did mean scream because Christopher had started wailing louder than Eddie had ever heard. Eddie was sure there was still a broken coffee cup on the kitchen floor that had toppled out of his hand as he had run to his son.

The scene in Christopher’s room had nearly ripped Eddie’s heart out of his chest. He had found Christopher on the floor, his crutches in a pile on the floor next to him, and the boy sobbing. Eddie had tried to comfort his son and figure out what was wrong, but Christopher had wrapped himself around Eddie, sobbing into his shoulder. 

“It hurts dad, it hurts.” That was all Christopher was able to get out, in between sobs and gasps for air. Eddie had quickly scooped his son up and loaded him into the car, driving as fast as he could to the hospital. He had somehow managed to text Bobby, (though all he had been able to type out was Christopher and hospital) and avoid too much traffic. But the whole ride, the sound of Christopher crying was too much for him to bear. His kid was tough. Pain didn’t often faze him because of all he had been through with his CP. But he was still crying when they got to the hospital, saying that it hurt over and over again.

Eddie still wasn’t sure what was wrong. The doctor had run a litany of tests to figure out if this was just another part of Christopher’s CP or if it was something more serious. And the not knowing was what was scaring him the most. 

“Dad?” He looked up, seeing Christopher watching him. His son was no longer crying, pain medication helping to dull the pain. But Eddie could still see a scared look in Christopher’s eyes.

“Everything okay, kid?’ Eddie asked, sitting up in his chair a little. “Do you need anything? Or for me to get the nurse?” Christopher shook his head, sniffing a little. “What’s wrong mijo? You can talk to me.”

“I’m scared.” Eddie tried not to stiffen at his son’s words. Another reason why Eddie thought Christopher was tough was because of how he handled things. Nothing was a big deal to his son, Christopher always seeming to find the bright side of things, a grin always present on his face. Buck had once described Christopher as sunshine; a golden ray of warmth and happiness (and if Eddie didn’t already love Buck, that description of his son would’ve made him fall all over again). But Eddie had to agree. So hearing his son was scared shocked him.

Eddie wanted to say the right thing. He wanted to make his son feel better. But he didn’t want to minimize his son’s fear. He wanted to be supportive. He wanted to be a good dad.

“Can you tell me why?” Eddie asked, a gentleness to his tone as he moved his chair closer to the hospital bed. 

“Everything hurt so bad,” Christopher whispered, his eyes starting to water. “It hurt so much. And I’m scared that something bad is going to happen to me.” A few tears escaped and Christopher pushed his glasses out of the way to wipe them away. 

“I know this morning was really scary,” Eddie said. “I know you’re still scared now. And that’s okay, something like this can be pretty scary. But you just have to believe that everything is going to be okay.”

“How?” Christopher asked, sniffling a little. Eddie twisted his lips into a line, trying to think of the right thing to say. And then, something his Abuela always used to say to him popped into his brain. 

“You ask for help.” He was the one saying the words, but he could hear his Abuela’s voice. When he was younger, Eddie had never really understood the purpose of going to church or praying to God. Instead, he would grumble about spending his Sunday mornings at church. Until one day, his Abuela sat him down and told him why she went to church and why it was important to her. 

_ " _ _ It’s about knowing that you are safe in this world, Edmundo. It’s about knowing there is a higher power that will keep you safe. But only if you ask for help.” _

“Mijo, do you remember how back in Texas, we’d go to church every Sunday?” Christopher nodded. That act had stopped once they had moved, though they did go occasionally with Abuela and Pepa. “Well Abuela always said that was important because it meant always knowing there was something out there that could keep you safe. You just have to ask for a little help.”

“I…” Christopher sniffed again, a few more tears running down his face. “ **I don’t think I’m strong enough.”**

“Do you want me to help?” Eddie asked, reaching for his son’s hand. Christopher nodded, letting his hand rest in Eddie’s. “Okay, close your eyes and squeeze my hand.” Christopher did that and Eddie took a breath before closing his eyes. “We’re asking for a little help. We’re asking for you to make things less scary. We’re asking you for answers. And…” Eddie opened his eyes, taking a moment to look at his son when the boy was unaware.

Christopher looked so small in the bed, like the monstrosity of the hospital bed shrunk him down. He could see one Christopher’s arm shaking, from squeezing his hand so tight. The other fidgeted with the blanket over his lap. And on his face, his perfect little face, was a sad frown. And Eddie didn’t want his son to be angry or sad. 

He just wanted him to be okay. 

“And we ask for happiness. For golden sunshine and good days.” A soft smile spread across his son’s face and Eddie smiled. Eddie wanted his sunshine back. He wanted his son to feel happy, even in a dark moment. Christopher opened his eyes and Eddie’s smile grew, ruffling his son’s hair. 

“I think it’s going to work dad,” Christopher said, still a little quietly, but with more confidence this time. 

“With a little faith,” Eddie began, nodding his head as he spoke. “I think it will.” Christopher grinned, ready to say something, when the door opened.

“Buck!” Eddie looked towards the door, seeing Buck standing there in his uniform. 

“Hey guys,” Buck said with a smile as he walked in. Eddie gave him a look and Buck chuckled. “We were just dropping a patient off and Bobby said I could have five minutes to check on you guys.” Eddie watched as a fond smile crossed Buck’s face, looking back and forth between him and Christopher. “I had to make sure my two favorite people are okay.”

“I think we will be,” Christopher said. “Dad says we just need to ask for help and have a little faith. Right dad?” Eddie let go of Christopher’s hand, brushing the hair off of his son’s forehead. 

“Yeah kid,” Eddie said, smiling at Christopher. He glanced back at Buck, who had moved to stand next to him. He put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder and Eddie nodded. “I think it will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Scream with me on my Tumblr?](https://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com)


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